By engaging in this introspection, you'll not only deepen your understanding of restorative justice but also grow your own empathy and insight into situations that might be far removed from your own lived experiences.
For me, I felt uncomfortable reading situations where the outcome was different from my own. I couldn’t understand the end of the story. So, I sat with those feelings of initial judgement and shock. Then I realised these outcomes and resolutions were made possible and safe because of restorative justice. Survivors who choose to take part are offered all the support they need, and it is thanks to the facilitators that make difficult situations safe and possible.
I had my own experience of restorative justice, and it was wonderfully healing. At the age of 11, I was sexually abused by my stepdad. I didn’t know why, and I had always wondered if it was something I did – “did I lead him on?”. With hindsight, you know, of course, you didn’t; “you were 11 years old; that is simply not possible”. Even though I rationally knew that, that question was always in the back of my mind throughout my teenage years.
Being abused at a young age and, in my experience, by a father figure, leaves you wondering about a lot of things. This man was in my life for around 8 years, so you also deal with the loss of that, however confusing that may be to think about. I wanted to speak to him; I needed to speak to him. I needed to know why.
The road to restorative justice for me was long and painful. I first asked a therapist, but he didn’t know that such a thing existed; then eventually, years later, I called the police to ask about it. I faced a barrage of questions from one staff member at the police, some very insensitive questions that no one looking for restorative justice should be asked. Finally, I had found who could help, and with the support of my amazing facilitators (who I am still in touch with 7 years later!), I got what I needed. Now, I am an intern at the European Forum for Restorative Justice. I wanted to give something back to the process that gave me, me back again.
My own restorative justice experience shaped the way I read these conversations, and I have no doubt that each reader will bring their own unique perspectives and experiences when reading it. These feelings that are triggered while reading this publication are important; pay attention to them and honour them.
What you feel and what you do with these feelings next could change someone’s life. If you are currently ‘on the fence’ about restorative justice, I hope that this publication will give you enough motivation to see its benefits. If it doesn’t, I hope it will encourage you to read more about it and speak to more people about it. Consider this: if you were in a position of authority—a judge or a police officer—would you advocate for restorative justice as a viable option in sentencing or inform victims of its availability?
I truly believe that this work is going to have a significant impact on so many survivors and their healing process. For some, they might realise that restorative justice is the journey that they need to take, and some might realise it isn’t what they need. Both outcomes are okay; the essence of restorative justice lies in its voluntary nature.
To the survivors featured in this publication, thank you for sharing your experience. Your life has changed because of restorative justice, and you will inspire others. To the authors of this amazing collection of testimonies, thank you. You are giving the most powerful voice to survivors, and I am so grateful and honoured to have proofread this publication and to have been asked to write this foreword.
